Archive for the ‘addiction’ Tag

Non-Verbal Communication   Leave a comment

Some argue that our advanced ability to communicate vocally is the primary aspect that has led the humans to become the dominant species on the planet.

However, it is important to realize that most communication taking place between people is non verbal. Rather, it is our body language with our posture and gestures that do most of the talking for us.

When we are aware of this we can improve our communication skills and express ourselves more effectively.

Below is a graphic which highlights some of the messages we send through our body language along with tips of how to improve upon our visual expressions so that others will understand us that much better;

Say what you mean

Attribution to Online (Source of picture)


Embrace the Darkness to Know the Light.   Leave a comment

If you live in the northern hemisphere you are experiencing the longest nights of the year culminating in the darkest day of all, the Winter Solstice.  Each day afterward the sun will rise higher in the sky and the days will grow longer leading to the peak of light at the Summer Solstice.

I believe the most prominent theme of the Winter Solstice is the symbolic death and rebirth process which happens over and over again in our lives. In fact, on the cellular level you will over time become a completely different human being as every cell in your body is replaced by a new one. Those of us who reside further away from the equator witness the rise and fall of the plants as each year they lay down their leaves into dormancy, only to return when the spring arrives.

The Winter Solstice is a time to reflect upon the past year, spend time with loved ones, and look forward to the future. Hence why so many cultures and religions celebrate this time of year with holidays. (i.e. the birth of Christ) Although the darkness may reign supreme now we know with full confidence the light and warmth shall return.

Now is the death of the year; the vibrant spring and summer days of the year’s youth have past leaving the trees without leaves and the air cold. The animals, including us humans, are experiencing bodily changes in connection with the colder days and longer nights.  We tend to feel more tired and desire more rest. We become more susceptible to depression if we lack enough exposure to sunlight.

The lack of light and increased time spent indoors can also lead us to greater levels of introspection and reflection. There can be an examination of the consequences that have come about from the choices we have made. The outer darkness of the world pulls us to examine our inner darkness, the shadow which resides in all of us. For some people this can be a terrifying abyss to behold. So, distraction in its many forms may take place to avoid a confrontation with the self.

However,  to deny our darkness is to deny a reforging and sharpening of our being. By denying those traits and aspects of our selves which we dislike (laziness, lustfulness, selfishness, fearfulness, etc)  we actually give power over to them. It takes greater psychic energy to repress and keep them in their natural domain of subconscious darkness, where they grow in power and effect us outside of our awareness, than to bring them into the light to be integrated into the totality of our being.

Our shadow not only gains power through our denial but also through our own self guilt. Often we will punish ourselves for sexual thoughts, thoughts of rage, and  selfish desires.  Anything we deem wrong or unworthy about ourselves we may react to in a self-punitive manner. We may also project our shadow upon others. When we perceive someone expressing traits we dislike our reactions are telling. Could the person condemning the lazy actually like to indulge in laziness,? Yet hates this aspect of him or her self for whatever reason(s).

What can your judgements of others tell you about yourself? What does your perceived deficiency in someone else say about you?

Over the course of the year with choice after choice the internal shadow baggage increases within. So to does the outer darkness of the waning daylight. The long nights of late fall and winter pull us towards the inner self and the opportunity for renewal is at hand. The light surrenders to the dark so that it can be reborn and rise again.

This is the quintessential time of the new year, it is why so many people make resolutions for the future. We all sense a chance for a fresh start. The molting of the psyche takes place and reveals a new skin.

Use this time for what it is. Surrender to your mistakes, your weaknesses. Revel in your flaws. Cry, forgive yourself, and be reborn as you return to the vibrant light of the spring and summer within.

These shadow qualities are a part of you just as much as all of your most admirable ones. You would not be you without them. Use that rage as creative energy or to improve your physical condition, use that sexual desire with your partner(s) to liven up the relationship(s) or indulge with your fantasies and discard the shame you associate with them. Be lazy, take a break and rest. Its ok.

You cannot understand the concept of light without understanding the concept of no light. You cannot achieve what Carl Jung calls individuation, or the establishment of your true self that is distinguished from the collective, without integrating your negative traits into your conscious, every day life.If you deny yourself of your less admirable qualities or shroud them with guilt you will be unable to fully recognize and express your admirable ones.

The Winter Solstice and the procession of the Sun represents an immediate and consistent environmental reminder of the death/rebirth process of the physical world. It is a process however, that can happen at anytime of your choosing in the realm of the psyche.

When will you make the choice?

Patience. It doesn’t have to happen yesterday.   3 comments

How many times have we heard the old saying “Patience is a virtue”? More than we can count probably.


But who needs patience when we have instant access to information, instant communication, and instant transaction? This is the 21st century baby! We don’t have time for patience for “I want it now!” is the theme of this day. Let the quickening quicken there’s no time to waste don’t blink or you will be left in the dust.


Before you know it we have made choices and carried out actions without much thought, sometimes not to the benefit of our own well-being, and sometimes our haste and expectations themselves lead us to stress.




How often do we get frustrated when we look at the present moment and what we have envisioned for the present moment has not occurred? Frustration almost always sets in. We may even feel depressed and hopeless, especially when we have made the choices and taken the steps that should be manifesting our vision. WHY IS IT NOT HAPPENING NOW!?


Part of the issue could be our lack of patience. We have become so accustomed to having our needs and desires satiated immediately with our iphones and androids that we become anxious when we find ourselves in situations where there is a delay, even slight ones.


Please remember,


This planet is 4.5 billion years old, this universe is 15 billion years old. Things take time to manifest. Even our lives are not very short, even though we keep hearing how short they are. It is our memory of the past that deceives us as the moments of the past are instantaneous in our memory and we perceive it as a much shorter span of time. For example, a 30 year old person is almost 11,000 days old, having been what is considered an adult for almost 4,400 days.


So, your business plan might take a little longer to bring in the kind of profit that you have expected but if you are making the right choices, while directing your attention and intention with the proper action, IT WILL HAPPEN.


While you are in the midst of your frustration, near panic, and possibly sinking into depression have you taken any time to look around and see WHAT IS AVAILABLE in the present? The present, after all, is a gift. Often times opportunities and proverbial “doors” are open right in front of us to be used for our own benefit. However, if our minds are too wrapped up into the future we will not see them.


Turn off the phone for a minute, set it aside, put the laptop on hibernate and take in the moment for what it is. Appreciate what you do have. Listen to others around you, what do they have to say? Can it be something to your benefit? Tap into the flow of the present, we don’t always have to be doing, it doesn’t have to happen yesterday, its OK TO BE.


We are after all human BEINGS.

Yoda’s Wisdom   4 comments

Yoda Knows.

Yoda’s Wisdom – #1

Yoda’s Wisdom – #2



So simple, yet so profound.


The 800 year old Jedi master truly is a wise being for he knows truths that, when applied, benefit our well-being. Yet, often when presented with these simple truths many of us choose to reject them and seek out more complex and convoluted conclusions.


Deny it, denounce it, whatever. It is no secret that many of us inflate
the difficulty of resolving issues in our lives to the point where we
actually believe we are incapable of resolving them. When we hold the
belief that we are incapable of resolving our problems and improving upon
our own well being our behavior and thinking falls in alignment with
this belief. We in fact do not resolve our problems nor do we improve
upon our own well being. Thus, the suffering endures. In all honesty it is such a waste of time and is so unnecessary.

Often do I hear from people “Well, I guess i’ll give it a try” in that
oh so familiar depressive tone that speaks far louder than the words
themselves. What that tone says is “I can’t” which ultimately means “I won’t”.
When I hear these words from people I must refer them to to the wisdom
of Yoda.


Do it. Make it happen. If you don’t do it, then it doesn’t
happen. There is no in between, there is no try!


Does depression feel like being trapped in the Abyss of Nothingness &
Despair? YES. Does anxiety feel like being ,well, trapped? YES. Does
this mean one is incapable of untrapping themselves? Incapable of
climbing out of the Abyss of Nothingness? The answer is a resounding NO!

Know that there is always HOPE. No matter what the obstacle, no matter
how insurmountable it may seem. I don’t care what anyone with letters in
front of and after their name says. There is always hope and
possibilities are available for even the most impaired. Let nobody sway you
otherwise. Don’t just believe you are capable of healing. Go higher than that. KNOW YOU ARE

If you know and be that which you are you can achieve anything for you
and I are the creators of the Universe.

Remember why you have failed, learn from it, grow, and make it happen.
You can start right now if you so choose. Why not start now?

Climbing Over Your Wall and Undamming Your Flow…..But Remember, There is No Wall.   3 comments

There is an excellent clip in the philosophically inspiring action film, The Matrix, that sums up this article in its entirety. Please take a brief moment to watch so that your mind is receptive to the words to follow.



There is No Spoon



When we are examining the present state of our lives we will at times come to the conclusion that we are not living a purposeful life, one that is fulfilling and one that is in alignment, one that nurtures our well being. It is almost like writer’s block in that we find ourselves unable to tap into our power and manifest the life of our dreams through the direction of our will. We feel stuck in place.


We may find that negative aspects of our psyche hold more influence over us and lead us to make choices that are not always to our benefit. Others may or may not perceive this about you as well. We may be self-medicating with drugs to deal with this even if we are not aware that we are doing so.


If you find yourself in this situation then perhaps there is a wall in place. A wall that is damming your creative flow and inhibiting the true expression of your self. Until the wall is removed the blockage will continue and the circular patterns of emotions and behaviors to which you feel trapped in will continue on.


There are two primary steps to keep in mind when addressing this issue. First is to recognize your wall. The second is knowing that there is no wall, You can’t climb this wall as that is impossible, that it is you who must bend your will and render the wall into nothingness (pretty much just as was said in The Matrix clip)


To be able to recognize your wall you must keep a clear,open mind, without judgments or conclusions. You must then turn inward and examine the totality of your being, your memories, and everything that is you. So long as your mind is open and your search is active you WILL discover your wall.


My wall, for example, was an unresolved estranged relationship with a loved one. I was aware of this wall but I underestimated its power over me and it was not until I resolved this situation that the second step automatically took place, the wall vanished. I was tapped back into my purpose and my creative flow was free to allow the full expression of my will and to once again create my life as I so will it towards the betterment of my own being and that of others.


So that’s it in a nutshell, Once you recognize your wall you can address it, once you address it and resolve it the wall will disappear and your true self will re-emerge to fulfill the purpose of whatever purpose you wish to fulfill.



But always remember, ultimately, there is no wall.


Stay Peaceful.



The Power and Great Imperative of the Imagination   1 comment

The Power of the imagination is only limited by one’s own mind. The creative spirit that resides within all of us is boundless if one can recognize it, tap into it, and bring it forth into the three dimensional world of physical reality.


In fact, the imagination is operating all the time even if we are not aware of it. Our entire perception of the world is shaped by our imagination WHETHER YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE IT OR NOT. Your choice not to believe is in fact an imaginative construct created by yourself, a belief. Indeed, Quantum physics is showing us that the observer determines the outcome. However, I will not digress further into this particular matter as this is the domain of others.


So, try to absorb that for a moment and ponder about the things in your life that are not going well. Start to question yourself and your beliefs. You may realize that the way you are imagining and therefore perceiving the world is going against your own well-being. That it is YOU who are creating your own suffering and therefore contributing to the collective suffering of the world. A sad tale indeed. Yet one that is far to prevalent in our world today.


Does somebody want to remind me why we choose the path of suffering?


Look, I am not denying an external reality to which we participate in and depend on to exist in our bodies. What I am trying to say is that we as part of creation co-create creation on the psychic level. Yes, there are influences in our “external” reality (how our brains process it at least, but that would make it ultimately “internal” reality, wouldn’t it.) that lead us to choose to believe in and imagine a world where we, by our own free will, lower ourselves into an almost hypnotic zombie (theres that ever present growing meme again) like trance.


You know the drill; wake up, coffee (We are a nation of caffeine addicts), go to work, come home, television, sleep, then wake up and repeat. Further contributing to the trance is the multitude of easily accessible electronic devices (i.e. Laptop, Ipod, Ipad, Iphone, Internet, TV, etc), unhealthy drinks and foods coupled with poor eating habits, and subliminal programming (often negative, i.e. advertising, the news, etc.) that overwhelms our senses on a daily basis distracting us from our true selves and ultimately our true purpose.


Is it then any wonder we have convinced ourselves to believe that the world is dull, boring, and mundane? With little hope, full of fear, aggression, suffering, and hatred? Can it therefore really be a surprise to anyone that our world is now overwhelmed by this excremental aspect of our psyches as human beings?

I believe Carl Jung was right, it is psychic events that are the greatest threat to our species.


Here is what happened;


We have forgotten who we are. We have fallen asleep at the wheel.


We are the creators of the universe. That’s right, its true. Yes, our universe is that awesome. Its ok, you can accept it, for that is what it is and that is who we are. Embrace it. WAKE UP!


Are we not long past the time to stop creating a world out of balance? Ever skewing closer to the realm of negativity and ultimately oblivion? BY OUR OWN WILL NONETHELESS!


Or, would we rather create a world where peace, joy, happiness, goodwill, life, and even magic(k) reign across the land and sea until the end of days?


I don’t know about you but I think the choice is pretty obvious. I know what choice I’ve already made.


What about you? Afterall, the entirety of the universe starts with YOU.


I am quite hopeful, maybe you will be, or already are. If so, GREAT! If not, what are you waiting for?


Stay Peaceful


Letting Go???   5 comments

Letting Go?

I sometimes wonder if it is a rite of passage during the life of a human being to be told the phrase “ Just let it go”. It is the slogan that implies we need to forget the trauma’s of our past in order to overcome them. I can think of one way to achieve this kind of forgetting and that is through the degenerative disease of Alzheimer’s. With Alzheimer’s over time you will even forget how to walk.

Unless you have a severely masochistic personality this is not the way anyone is going to want to have to “let go” of their trauma.

The thing is, you cannot “let go” of your past. It happened and the memory of it, albeit distorted from the actual event, will exist across your lifespan. So what are you going to do with it?

Are you going to give so much weight to it that its burden prevents you from living your life as you would like? Is the guilt over past mistakes causing you to dwell and not move forward? What about the anxiety associated with visions and thoughts of a traumatic event such as a violent attack or rape? Are you unable to forgive someone for wrongdoing and hold onto resentment to the extent that you yourself suffer? Are you unable to ask for forgiveness or forgive yourself?

If this is going on for a long time then you are allowing the memory of the past to effect you in the present. Notice how I use the word “allowing”. I do so not to blame you but to empower you. If you believe that you are allowing the past to hurt you now than alternatively you have the power to stop it now, or later if you so choose. The goal is not to let go of the past, rather it is to put in its rightful place and take away the energy you devote to it so that it is not impairing you now.

Putting the past into its proper place can be achieved;

Believe in the perspective that are able to do so.

If you believe that there’s nothing you can do about the past then you will fulfill this belief and do nothing about the past. If this is the case with you, challenge this belief by testing it out.

One way to test drive the idea is to take a moment and dwell upon your favorite food. Think about all the ways it can be prepared, imagine the savory taste of this delicious meal, imagine it is the best meal you have ever had. What reactions are you having? Are you starting to crave the food? Are you contemplating even getting up and having this meal? Are you salivating? If so, you have just experienced what happens when attention and intention is directed at something. If “nothing” happened, what else were you directing your attention and intention at? The Past???


Then face the past –

Often times when a past memory that gives us pain arises we want to quickly avoid it and turn away from the thoughts in hopes that it will go away. “Don’t think about that now!” goes the self talk.


When you find yourself gripped by the memories, visions and thoughts associated with whatever it is about the past that you are giving your attention to then turn it up a notch and overload it with attention, go through it. This can be done alone or with another person, professional or not. Talk to yourself, debate it with yourself if you have to. What conclusions do you come up with? Write it out if need be for further analysis. Take on the past head on. By overloading it with attention you can win it over and come to know that it does not control you but it is you that gives control to it.

Put it away by coming to the present and looking forward

If you are dwelling on the past and suffering for it get your mind out of the past by examining the present an looking forward to the future. Are you living the life you want to? Are you fulfilling the goals you desire? Turn your intention and attention to these aspects of your life. Realize that it is a waste of your energy to allow yourself to get stuck on the past.

Use the past as a strength

When you do face the past what are you learning from it? Our collective experiences contribute to our learning and growth. For instance, if you were ripped off by someone would you rather hold a grudge and get angry and upset over getting ripped off or use it as a learning experience to use caution and greater awareness when dealing with similar situations in the future?

The same is for survivors of trauma, you’ve been there, done that. You are now a valuable resource for other people who may have suffered through a similar experience, someone who can help others get through it and in doing so may help yourself get through it. You now understand how much suffering can encompass the human experience, use it as a measuring stick to appreciate the good things in your life and take pride in the progression you have made. Many of you have already done amazing things in life but you cloud it by devoting so much energy to the past.

The choice is yours, the possibilities are only limited to your own mind. What are you doing now? What are you going to do tomorrow?

Don’t let go. Rather embrace, accept, and put it in its proper place with the rest of your experiences that have helped shape the highest expression of the evolution of consciousness on this planet, you.

Stay peaceful.